the cost of life: temporariness

 ...everything is temporary.

Perhaps that is the most common and fundamental idea, and I hope everyone understands it. It is the SOLE FORMULA I believe in. Timing is the only decision-maker.

sometimes,

you just met someone and they are missing

you just own something only for some days

you just live in a place you love for several weeks

you just do something stupid and that is okay

you just eat something and you only love it for several months

you just work at a certain place and only last for several months

you just drive somewhere and you get lost

you just write some things and you forget

you just read something and you forget

well maybe,

they are destined to be just some people you only cross paths with for a moment

those are just something you can have only for a certain time

that is just the place you can be in for several moments

that is just something you were destined for being stupid at that time

that is just some food that was destined to be eaten by you

that is just the place where you can earn your money only for some periods

that is just the place you were destined to be lost at

that is just the thing you just need to write only at that moment

that is just the thing you just need to read only at that moment

I was only 8 years old when my great granny passed away and I can't accept the fact that she was gone. I love her and I was expecting I could talk to her every day while I growing up. She always brings candies in her purse and then asks me if I'm okay to eat them, asks me if I already eat or not, and asks me to play around the house or just be there. Her presence somewhat gives me the vibe of safety. Her presence somewhat told me that I could live up to her age that day, but I forgot to think about the age formula,

we are getting older = they are also getting older

and then, she's gone.

I was mad. I was mad at God. I was mad about anything. I was asking why. I was asking where she was. I was unable to eat. I was sick. I was unwell. I was thinking how to get her back in this realm? could I meet here again ever? could I eat candies with her? Could I feel safe again with her? Could I feel safe again? Could I talk to her?

...and that is the story of my FIRST real loss.

That thing might be hurt & hard for me at that time, but we live and move forward.  The pain is there, but how are we able to continue living? learn to live with the pain. 

I am not saying, that we should be expecting pain. However, it is always with us; the cost of being alive. 

Without expecting that too, it is always there. Just different levels for each.

I've just realized, that nothing you can own can be yours forever. It is like food and similar things which have an expiry date, maybe.

There are always,

in and out,

come and go, 

open and close,

sign-in and sign-out,

turn on and turn off,

and.. you name it.

I personally think that life is also about sacrifice, 

You'll lose some, you'll get some. 

It might not be equal to grief, but the core is similar. You lost. You lost something or someone you love. Irreplaceable. Nothing can replace it. And how to cope? learn to live without it, cause you might get something unexpected that can ignite your will to live and appreciate the remaining time.

Sometimes we are too afraid to let go of something, well everybody does. Have you ever heard people saying that when it is hurt to hold maybe it is the right time to let go of it. that's it.

some temporary things are better to be freed. In my case above about great granny, I was not trying to forget about her. I was just keeping the good memory and letting go of the loss. Because I know, she will be happy knowing I am moving forward and getting the best of my life as possible.

Everything is temporary. So, what is the eternal thing? I can say, yourselves? it does temporary too. but you only have you. so, keep yourself at your best. cause who will?