perfecting the imperfection

first of all, the title might be clickbait. 

yes, and i'm sorry. 

you don't look for perfection, you are just looking for validation that says it is okay to be not perfect.

and.. it's okay to be not perfect. nothing's and nobody's. we are all carried by imperfection, and that is what makes us human. i do think, even ghosts (whom i believe may have been a human before), they are imperfect too. animal? pet? cat? dog? they are too, some can run fast, some can eat fast, some can not.

nothing is 100% perfect, some may have been 99%, but it does not add up to a perfect 100%.

growing up different has made me live in a world called façade. oh yes, before you think, what i mean is physically. i was more peculiar than some other girls in my ring, so that made me automatically find another way to be "accepted" besides my "differentness". it's actually hell for me at that moment, i kept questioning why i am like this, and that. and that's how it leads me to create this "space" where i can be the funniest (well at least i've tried), kind of off-beat, but still trying hard to be polite.

at that moment, i want people to hear me, laugh at my jokes, and be happy about being friends with me. i did it for years. i did survived tho, besides being that vulnerable pertaining to my "differentness". i did not realize back then, cause i just did it anyway. but one thing that made me content of doing that, i enjoy myself. i just don't care what people say when i had the courage to sing and dance in front of people, to act in front of people, to talk in front of people. i just don't care of being different.

listen, i know i am not perfect, so does everyone. but i think i was quite "perfect" to choose myself. i had the courage to choose myself over billions of unpleasant words calling me ugly, stupid, etc.

i was able to perfect my imperfection. 

what i called back then a façade, it WAS NOT. it was an open door for me to be able to accept myself. it was an open gate for me to be authentic. i am able to be comfortable in my own skin. i don't know, but i think the words fake it till you make it might be right. 

(not to say that faking is acceptable lolz. i think you are smart enough to differentiate what it means.)

what i am trying to say, if you think you are not perfect, you are. but you have a chance to search a door or gate for you to fill up your "imperfection". i believe there is. 

be courageous,  cause if it is not you who can't stand up for yourself, who will? others? no no, never expect someone to do that, cause if they can they will do for themselves first. 

so, move now and see you at the greatest.